Sacred Unmasking

Tag: Healing

  • How nervous system regulation brought my creativity back

    How nervous system regulation brought my creativity back

    Saturday morning. My body is aching, my mind racing, and Mr Depression is knocking on the door. I can feel the heaviness and the overwhelm like a wet blanket weighing on my fragile body – thoughts spiraling into dark places I’m far too acquainted with.

    “You’re not doing enough.”

    “You’re letting your fear stop you again.”

    “You just have to work harder and push through.”

    “Everyone else is doing it, how hard can it be?”

    “You’re a failure, you will never succeed like the rest of them.”

    Desperately, I try to defend my worth, but after a short while of inner battle, I surrender to the dark thoughts. The tiny bit of motivation I had mustered up to get the day started has left the building. 

    I lean over and put my forehead on the kitchen table. Waves of despair are showering over me as salty tears form patterns on my cheeks.

    A delta of despair.

    “I wish someone could hold me”, I hear a tiny voice crying. “I could really use a hug right now”.

    The voice takes me by surprise, but I immediately know that I need to do everything in my power to help the little girl.

    “I know, this is really hard for you. You’re going through something painful, and your emotions are so, so valid. You matter, and you make sense”, I hear myself comforting her. And instinctively, I put my arms around myself and hug myself, slowly rocking back and forth in a soothing motion.

    The dark thoughts that had taken over my inner battlefield retreat, and soon I feel the muscles in my body relaxing and letting go. I feel the relief of the little girl and her gratitude for helping her out of her prison.

    And just like that, something shifts. I can feel a surge of energy moving through my body. Lightness and inspiration gently lift the heavy blanket from my body.

    “I deserve to be happy.”

    “I don’t have to do things the same way as everyone else.”

    “I don’t have to fit into the mold.”

    And from this place, I ask the little girl: “What do YOU want to create? What would feel fun and joyful for YOU to do today?”

    “I want to write. I want to tell a story. I want to pick strawberries. I want to dress up in something beautiful and wear colorful makeup. I want to eat something nourishing. I want to meet new people and listen to their story. I want to be of service. I want to contribute to something meaningful.”, she replies.

    I let her go on until she’s finished, taking mental notes of all her needs and desires, promising to do my best to honor each and every one of them. If not today, then tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.

    I find myself picking up my computer and starting to write, words flowing through me in an unfiltered stream of consciousness.

    “It really gets to be this easy”, I say to myself, and hit ‘publish’.

  • What Is Shadow Work? (No, It’s Not Just Inner Child Healing)

    What Is Shadow Work? (No, It’s Not Just Inner Child Healing)

    Let’s be real: if I had a coin for every time someone told me they were “doing shadow work” but were actually just journaling about their ex for the 13th night in a row… I’d probably buy a really cute, slightly haunted villa in southern France.

    So let’s clarify something right away.

    Shadow work is not just talking to your inner child. It’s not just crying on your yoga mat. And it’s not about fixing what’s “wrong” with you.

    Shadow work, when done right, is one of the most powerful portals I know to embodied wholeness, confidence, and actual behavioral change.

    It’s the difference between knowing what your patterns are and finally shifting them.

    And I promise you, it doesn’t have to be scary.

    So… What Is Shadow Work, Really?

    Shadow work is the sacred and uncomfortable process of turning toward the parts of yourself you’ve learned to hide, reject, or shame, and gently inviting them back into wholeness.

    These “shadow parts” are usually traits you were told (directly or indirectly) were not okay to express – things like anger, selfishness, arrogance, sensitivity, sensuality, or even confidence and ambition. Maybe you were praised for being the good girl, the quiet one, the helper…

    So you exiled those parts, sent them underground with the hope of never seeing them again… but you and me both know that nothing ever ceases to exist in this universe, it just takes on a different form, so instead, they start acting out in subtle, unhealthy ways, showing up as:

    • Self-sabotage
    • Judgment toward others
    • Self-doubt
    • Unexplained emotional triggers
    • Resistance towards your own power

    Shadow work is the process of meeting those parts with compassion and curiosity, instead of shame or avoidance, and learning how to bring them back home and integrate them so they’re no longer hijacking your day-to-day life from backstage.

    How the Shadow Gets Formed

    Let’s go back to where it usually starts: A moment in childhood (or early life) where a part of you got the message: “This isn’t welcome here.”

    It might have been:

    • Expressing anger and being told you were “too much”
    • Being sensitive and learning to “toughen up”
    • Shining brightly and being met with envy or rejection
    • Speaking your truth and being shut down

    So your system, brilliantly and lovingly, hid that part away.
    It said, “Okay. If this gets me rejected, I don’t want anything to do with it”

    The only problem is that that part of you didn’t die. It just learned to speak in code. And it’s been trying to get your attention ever since.

    How Shadow Work Is Different From Inner Child Healing or Journaling

    Let’s clear something up, I love inner child work. Journaling is sacred (I do it every morning 🤓). But if you stop there, you’re only halfway through the maze.

    Shadow work asks:

    • What am I afraid would happen if I fully expressed this part of me?
    • Where do I secretly judge others for something I’m not letting myself have?
    • What part of me shows up in sneaky ways, and what is it actually trying to protect?

    And when done properly, it can lead to:

    • Clearer boundaries
    • More authentic expression
    • Less drama, more sovereignty
    • A wildly magnetic relationship with your inner truth

    You basically stop trying to manifest confidence… and just become someone who holds it naturally (and that’s the whole point, isn’t it?).

    Shadow Work Doesn’t Have to be “Dark”

    Your shadow isn’t just made of your “negative” traits, it’s also made of all the brilliant, powerful, magnetic aspects and qualities that you’ve never believed you have. The version of you that’s:

    • Radiantly self-trusting
    • Fiercely intuitive
    • Unapologetically taking up space
    • Speaking with clarity
    • Going after what she wants without asking for permission

    But if you grew up in environments where those things weren’t safe or welcome… they got shadowed, too. And it can actually lead to us believing that expressing any of those “lighter” or more powerful behaviors will get us rejected too.

    See how tricky this can be?

    How Shadow Work Actually Changes You

    If I can assume something about you… it’s that you’re not here for theory. You’re here because something in you is done. Done with hiding. Done with self-doubt. Done with doing all the work but still not feeling different.

    Here’s what happens when you start doing shadow work regularly (especially if you bring in tools like parts work, somatic integration, or archetype work – all things I offer in my 1:1 sessions):

    • You recognize your triggers faster (and meet them with compassion)
    • You stop leaking energy or acting out old programming / behavior
    • You get clearer about what’s yours to carry, and what’s projection
    • You reclaim parts of yourself you didn’t even know you’d lost

    And most importantly, you start feeling like it’s safe to express your own truth.

    Want to Go Deeper?

    If you’re feeling like this isn’t just another blog post but an actual nudge from your soul to meet yourself more fully, here’s what I recommend:

    👉 Start with the 20+ pages workbook: The Shadow Work Workbook (very original name, I know) where you shine light on your shadow, and start to get to know an inner aspect of you that’s been calling for your attention

    👉 Or book a 1:1 shadow work journey with me.
    Together, we’ll explore your shadow with grounded tools, warmth, and a good dose of mischief. (No serious guru vibes here, I promise.)

    I’m so glad you’re here.

    Xx,

    Elinor

    For transparency, this post is written in collaboration with my friend ChatGPT.

  • Implicit Memory & Somatic Healing

    Implicit Memory & Somatic Healing

    You’ve done the work. You’ve journaled, talked it through, revisited your memories repeatedly, and tried to understand how to heal that stubborn pattern that keeps showing up in different ways. You’ve told yourself it’s in the past, that it shouldn’t affect you anymore. But your body… tells a different story.

    You still shut down when conflict arises.
    You still freeze in moments of intimacy or connection.
    You still feel like something’s wrong with you, even when everything “should” feel fine.

    And maybe the most confusing part is:
    You don’t know why.

    This is where many people begin their journey into somatic healing, with a persistent feeling that something inside is stuck.

    But you can’t fully explain it.

    There’s a reason talk therapy or mindset work hasn’t reached this part of you. It’s because the pain you’re carrying isn’t always stored in your mind. It’s stored in your body.

    This is what’s known as implicit memory — the kind of memory you don’t consciously remember, but that your nervous system never forgot. It lives in your muscle tension, your breath patterns, your startle responses. In your gut, your shoulders, your skin.

    It’s the memory of not feeling safe and of being emotionally neglected, even if your childhood looked “fine.” The memory of learning to smile and stay small, because being your full self never felt truly welcome.

    You may not have a story for what happened.
    But your body remembers how it felt.

    This kind of pain doesn’t respond to logic.
    Because it didn’t come in through logic, it came in through experience.

    That’s why healing has to happen through experience, too. Through re-patterning the nervous system with new felt experiences of safety, connection, and permission.

    This is what somatic healing offers.

    It’s not about reliving trauma, but about becoming aware of how your body has adapted, and gently helping it find another way.

    What healing feels like in the body

    Somatic healing is not one-size-fits-all. Sometimes it’s as simple as feeling your breath deepen. Sometimes it’s learning to stay present through a wave of emotion without shutting down.
    Sometimes it’s letting your body move in a way it never could before: shaking, sounding, dancing, stretching, yawning.

    Each time you feel a little more, stay with yourself a little longer, your body realizes: I’m safe now. I don’t have to hold my breath anymore.

    And that’s the whole purpose of this work. When we start to listen to the body’s responses and give it what it actually needs in the moment, following it’s call for movement and release, we regulate our nervous system and slowly begin to embody safety.

    If this post awakens something in you, and you feel like this is something you would like to explore deeper, I offer 1:1 coaching where I blend parts work, somatic healing, shadow work, and energy work to help you become aware of your stubborn patterns, heal what needs to be healed, and start taking aligned action towards your most dreamy life. Send me a message at elinor[at]sacredunmasking.com and tell me a bit about yourself, and we’ll take it from there!

    With love,

    Elinor

    For transparency, this post is written in collaboration with my friend ChatGPT.